punkwarren:

striderdaves:

i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search

i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement

HOW DO I LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM INTERESTED IN KISSING THEM

(Source: eggtragedy)

onoasa:

jeffersonstarshipshavethetardis:

okay so we know about jesus when he’s a baby, and jesus when he’s an adult, but does the bible ever mention his rebellious teenager years?

‘jesus, go feed the donkey.’
‘yOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER’ 

the ground shakes a little, and a voice comes down from the sky

‘do what your stepfather says you little shit’

ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

galacticdad:

when i was little i learned what schizophrenia was from TV and for a while i was really afraid because i thought i had it since i always heard my own voice in my head so finally i told a doctor and he informed me that what i was experiencing was called thinking.

    Me: Liam....GAYne
    Liam: [panics]

cradily:

will you still love me when i no longer ball so fuckin hard


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